Prelude:
I haven't talked to my best friend in almost a year. Why? That's a very good question and a very good place to start.
I'd like to think of myself as a seeker of knowledge, not a seeker of revenge. Revenge may be too strong a word, and knowledge may be too deep. But there you have it. I seek enlightenment, not darkness.
On August 5, 2013 my friend Terry severed our relationship like one would have a unsightly mole removed. She cut hard and deep, like a sharp, hot knife slices through butter. Some might say it was better that way, like a Band-Aid being ripped off quickly. The problem is that when you rip the Band-Aid off, the brief pain comes from a few hairs and skin cells being torn off your body. Over and forgotten in seconds. The pain I feel is not over, nor forgotten.
Sometimes for days at a time I will forget, but then, like phantom pain from a missing limb, the memories wash over me and I ask myself, "What could I have done differently."
Betrayal is one of the most painful emotions one can feel. And I feel it still, 12 months later. During the last 20 years, I'd watch her lie to her husband about how much money she spent, dragging me into her lies by telling him I bought her a new outfit after a day of shopping at the mall, or that I'd ordered her a new double crock pot from QVC because I knew she'd really like it. Over and over, I'd see her manipulate everyone and justify everything to get the things she wanted. Again and again I'd see her make up stories to hide from uncomfortable truths. But I just didn't see it coming at me. And that's why it's my fault: Complicit by silence: guilty as charged.
I haven't talked to my best friend in almost a year. Why? That's a very good question and a very good place to start.
I'd like to think of myself as a seeker of knowledge, not a seeker of revenge. Revenge may be too strong a word, and knowledge may be too deep. But there you have it. I seek enlightenment, not darkness.
On August 5, 2013 my friend Terry severed our relationship like one would have a unsightly mole removed. She cut hard and deep, like a sharp, hot knife slices through butter. Some might say it was better that way, like a Band-Aid being ripped off quickly. The problem is that when you rip the Band-Aid off, the brief pain comes from a few hairs and skin cells being torn off your body. Over and forgotten in seconds. The pain I feel is not over, nor forgotten.
Sometimes for days at a time I will forget, but then, like phantom pain from a missing limb, the memories wash over me and I ask myself, "What could I have done differently."
Betrayal is one of the most painful emotions one can feel. And I feel it still, 12 months later. During the last 20 years, I'd watch her lie to her husband about how much money she spent, dragging me into her lies by telling him I bought her a new outfit after a day of shopping at the mall, or that I'd ordered her a new double crock pot from QVC because I knew she'd really like it. Over and over, I'd see her manipulate everyone and justify everything to get the things she wanted. Again and again I'd see her make up stories to hide from uncomfortable truths. But I just didn't see it coming at me. And that's why it's my fault: Complicit by silence: guilty as charged.
